Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Band Member

Canyon Ranch in Tucson, Arizona
I was fortunate enough in the early 1980's to spend a week at Canyon Ranch, a luxurious health spa in Tucson, Arizona.  They have a big steam room and one day I walked in and had the whole room to myself.

Until this guy walks in and sits down across the way.  "How do you make this thing hotter?" he asks.  So I show him how to crank the steam, and soon the room became mostly opaque.

"So what do you do?" asks the guy, as he tucks his long hair into a shower cap on his head, that made him look bald.  I start telling him about my computer software company, what I'm working on.  He's really interested in what I'm doing and asks a lot of questions.  It's nice when someone, a complete stranger especially, takes a sincere and genuine interest in finding out who you are.  After a while, I thought I should ask him what he did, and so I asked: "So what do you do?"  Our conversation went something like this:

"I'm in a band," he says.  I've been in a few bands too, and so I figure his band is currently touring in Tucson, and hanging out at this great spa between gigs.

So I ask, "Are you playing somewhere local here in Tucson?  Maybe I can come out and see you?"

"No, we're getting ready to go on a big tour - collecting our strength, getting clean and sober, but still having fun.

"I used to play clarinet, flute, sax, and keyboard in some bands.  Not in a band now though.  What instrument do you play?"

"My voice - I'm the lead singer."

"Cool!  What's the name of your band?  Maybe I've heard of you?"

"Aerosmith."

"Wow, yeah I remember listening to you in high school.  Love your stuff.  You look pretty young for your age.  How old are you?

"I'm 40."


"Wow, you look great for your age!  You look a lot younger.  What's your secret?"

He pauses for a moment, looks me right in the eyes, and with a serious expression says, "Plenty of pussy!"

And with that, he jumps up completely naked, while pulling his showercap down over his eyes, and then starts jumping around like a demented pogo stick.  "Look!  I'm a giant bouncing condom!" And then he starts singing a giant bouncing condom song, heads out of the steam room, and off into the distance, still singing the song.

Steven Tyler

2006 Clive Davis Pre-GRAMMY Awards Party
February 7, 2006 - Beverly Hills, CA

I liked Steven Tyler a lot during our one chance encounter, naked, in a steam room in Tucson, Arizona in the 1980's.

1 comment:

Missy said...

That's awesome!! That's one of many stories I haven't heard. When are you writing your book?